The Season of Giving

Four days ago, as a Christmas present to myself, I bought an mp3 player. I have five full CDs of songs for my story that I like to listen to while I write. My problem for the last ten months or so has been that I have to be in my room to listen to them. I had a portable CD player for a little while before it abruptly quit working. I even bought ear buds so I could sit out on the porch with it and not look ridiculous. But that still didn't solve the issue of having to change CDs constantly to go to a new song which happened to be for the same scene, but on a different CD. Very annoying to say the least. So this is something that I really needed. I never buy things for myself. I love spending money as much as anyone, but I'm much too conscious of how much things cost and it's so easy to lose or break things that I just don't splurge often. I have only had it a few days and I'm already in love with it. It's really about time, I think. I've actually started using it while I do housework and exercise and I'm even going to take it with me when I clean someone's house next week. The best part is that I can sit at my window and really get into what I'm writing about. I've come up with such great material since buying it. I really think this is going to help me, and I feel like it's a blessing from God. After all, I feel like He's behind all of this and surely He will provide tools to help me. Does that sound weird? Like saying 'I thank God for this big screen TV...' And why do I need to feel bad anyway? I always feel like people will judge me if I get something for myself since I don't have a job (technically) and since we were very short on money not too long ago. I'm just not going to beat myself up about it. I get into trouble when I 'perceive' that people are judging me when they have never said, or probably thought, anything of the sort.

While playing jolly Christmas songs and trying to figure out my girl's world, I came up with an idea for how she could take what she learned from Alex and put it to good use in the States. I wanted her to grow some and become more generous like the Georgians. That's probably all I can say without giving away a pretty big piece of the plot. If this story even has one. ;-) Anyway, I chose to write about her Christmas break from school since it's Christmas time and all. *sigh* This would make a lot more sense and not be so dry if I could actually tell you what's going to happen!