Tuesday, February 28, 2012

A Thousand Years

I have two things to tell today. The first is that I've been reading this book about Astronaut Rick Husband who died on the Columbia when it was returning to earth. In the book it said that he decided to let God lead his life and he would only pursue being an astronaut if it was what God wanted. Well I got to thinking about my life, and how the world tells me I have to be this and that and do this and that to be accepted, even loved. I was really struggling with doubts that this story was really what God wanted me to focus on right now. For days, maybe weeks, I've been asking Him to show me where He wants me to go and everything comes back to the story or my songwriting. It's hard for even me to believe it, but this must be what He wants. It's so easy to say that God wouldn't want someone to sit at home writing a story that will never be published officially. It seems so contradictory to all the voices around me that yell "Get a job!" or "Go to school!", usually both. Then I read the devotion for today from "Jesus Calling": "Stop judging and evaluating yourself, for this is not your role. Above all, stop comparing yourself with other people. This produces feelings of pride or inferiority; sometimes, a mixture of both. I lead each of My children along a path that is uniquely tailor-made for him or her. Comparing is not only wrong; it is also meaningless. Don't look for affirmation in the wrong places: your own evaluations, or those of other people. The only source of real affirmation is My unconditional Love..." I guess the point that I am making is that God knows better than anyone what He can do with my life and many times where He leads is the exact opposite of where everyone else wants you to go. That is part of the challenge of following Him. We already know He thinks opposite to us, so why is it so shocking that He is leading me in the opposite direction from where everyone else is telling me to go?

The second thing I want to share is how God is secretly writing this story. I am the conduit through which His beauty can flow. On the way home from our church's Ash Wednesday service I heard this song on the radio called "A Thousand Years". It made me think of Jesus and how He loved us long before we existed. It's been in my heart ever since then and just this morning I sat back with a cup of tea and listened to it. I had just prayed that God would impart His words into my story because I knew He could write something much more beautiful than I could. As I listened to the song a scene for the story came into my mind that was so beautiful and perfect and I wished that I was a filmmaker so I could share this visually with everyone. I won't go into detail, but let's just say I believe He answered my prayer. =)

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