Thursday, October 14, 2010

First Conversation

Finally I bring you an excerpt from my story that doesn't have any spoilers! It's actually quite sweet, and close to what I pictured in my head. It's just a rough draft that can be filled in more later. The name Nikki will definitely change, too.

      His movements were slow and awkward, but finally he took a seat beside her. Immediately Nikki felt tense and uncomfortable, sitting in uncertain silence, waiting for something--whatever he had come to do.
      Truthfully, he didn't know what to do. There was a strange pull he was experiencing that made him want to help somehow. It was very hard opening that door and coming out to sit with a strange girl, who spoke a strange language, who was visiting at a very bad time. The first thing he had seen was her tiny figure bent low, head bowed, obviously in some form of prayer.
      He reached inside his shirt and pulled out a wooden cross on a black piece of cording, beads uniformly held by knots along the string. He stopped, at a loss for how to communicate his thoughts, then traced the outline of a necklace around her collarbone, first pointing to the cross in his hands.
      She shook her head; no, she didn't have one. For a second she saw a flash of disappointment and pain cross his face. It was difficult to know exactly what this meant, so her cold hands gently took the cross from him and placed the pendant nearest her heart. This is what she did have. His eyes followed it, and when he understood, it was like a light glowed inside their dark brown center, as though the moon had crept up behind her. To further illustrate her point, she held it between her hands and bowed her head.
      A simple, slight smile was quickly evident as he asked, "K'ristian?" It was pronounced a bit differently, but unmistakable.

1 comment:

  1. I love it ^.^ let's see if you can pull something like that off for the remainder of the story. Your writing has matured so much!!