I think I'm finally seeing why this story means so much to me. Bear with me, because I may be repeating myself. It's hard to know with so many blog entries already posted, and this being something that's been on my mind for a long time.
When I was a little girl I dreamed of the day Jesus would return. I got so excited thinking about Him coming down in the clouds and taking us all home with him. My parents told me not long after that times would get very bad before then, and I think in some small way, my dream was crushed. I had wanted so much to be alive for that day, and I started thinking I'd really rather not be there after all. In those days I was still reading picture books, even though I was nine. My dad thought this was a sign of under-development, like I wasn't intelligent enough to read stories without pictures. I now know this was the most positive thing imaginable: it meant that I loved pictures that much. Clearly I had an early fascination with art, I was just unaware of it at the time. I used to borrow my parents magazines just to stare at the glossy pictures, even if it was just a clothing catalog. Once someone gave me a few photography magazines, and I would go over and over them, like they were the best pictures ever taken.
For some reason, the Bible became just words in an old book. God didn't seem real to me anymore. I knew the right things to say and I would still tell people about God if I got the opportunity, but I was far from knowing Jesus personally. I was a 'Christian', one of those people that has something to believe, but doesn't walk in it. My faith, and that fantastic imagination, had died from lack of nourishment. I think when I started getting into art again--(simultaneously getting into God)--I unlocked a lot of what had been buried. Those feelings of hope and wonder were revived and unleashed. All that has led to where I am now: this story. I'm finally getting back to what I should be doing. Maybe I was made for this very purpose: bringing that same hope and wonder outside of myself and giving it to those who really need to see it. Isn't that what the Kingdom is about? Eternal life? Not just "God can help you in this life" but that God is promising us a much better existence in the long run, restoring what has always been meant for us. God is a God of restoration; He is continually proving that to me.
My concept art has been a crucial part of the development of ideas and storyline, and yet it has been so much more: an ever-changing portfolio of my soul. I used to have dreams that were that big, only now I've come to realize that maybe they aren't impossible! Maybe one day we'll really be doing all these wonderful things, living in a place a thousand times more beautiful than Earth! It fills me with a ton of hope and excitement. I feel as though I'm carrying a secret, some kind of light that's been kept in darkness for too long. Maybe it's the same light, the Truth, that we're supposed to let shine. In my case, I should be shining the truth about our destiny.
"In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven". - Matthew 5:16
I do extremely well with this kind of out-of-the-box thinking. Flying. Space. Huge castles over cliffs with waterfalls. That sort of thing. I just keep wondering if this is what I was made for. Like the song More Beautiful You that says "you were made to fill a purpose that only you could do." Maybe this is something only I can do. This is super exciting, and I hope this is indeed what I've been called to because I'm more than happy to do it.