Tuesday, September 25, 2012
The World of Art and Creativity
4:35pm
Over the last several years I've tried to find my place in the world. At first I wanted to be a photographer, and had I gone to college, that is what I would have studied. Now I know it would have been a mistake. I needed time to find myself and to try different mediums of art. However, because I am no closer to self-sufficiency than I was at eighteen, I have begun to feel very useless to the world. I know I have something special to offer, I just can't figure out exactly how to offer it, other than the books this blog is dedicated to. I see that as my greatest purpose, but surely not the only one. I am sure there must be other means of making a living, and as my prospects as a college student are non-existent, I have no choice but to find it. With all of this weighing so heavily on me, particularly as I celebrated turning twenty-five this year, I needed some encouragement. Some of the last words I wrote in my journal just yesterday and the thoughts I had while praying in the shower this morning were basically along the lines of "What am I going to do now?" and "How can I succeed?"
When I went to make my morning cup of tea, Mom had the radio on, and there I heard a guest talking about how very artistic and crafty people have a hard time finding their niche in today's economy. She says sometimes we are good at so many things that it's hard to commit to just one, or we feel we are going to get stuck with something that will burn us out in the long run. It was very encouraging to hear someone who knew what I was going through. I don't know that there is anything I can do right now, and I want to get this first book "published", but it's good to know that there is someone out there who gets that college is not the only way to success. I am currently having a hard time even getting a really simple part-time job--just something to start, since I've never worked outside the family business. It's really daunting to try to do anything too big, and my "big" is usually "small" to most people. In my current situation, I can't go to college to improve my artistic skills. I'm outside the age of scholarships and I can't possibly get a loan with no job. I am also a bit of a rebel when it comes to the college system. I believe a lot of college is wasted trying to earn credits doing things like dancing and cake decorating that has nothing to do with one's major. If I'm going to spend my time and money, I want to spend all of it on what is relevant. Call me crazy.
Anyway, next I turned to my devotional time and to my amazement, the devotion for today is about how some things that are giant steps for one person are baby steps for another. I know I have quoted this before (likely last year at this time ;)) but it was incredible to see something so appropriate for today.
So for now, I'm going to focus on getting this story finished and keep improving my artwork however I can. We'll see where God takes me. I don't want to not do anything, but it seems every time I try to step out and do something, I hit a million obstacles.
Sunday, September 23, 2012
No better than rape
6:42pm
In today's sermon our pastor talked about what it means to know God. John 17:3 says: "Now this is eternal life: that they may know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent." The Bible uses the same word "know" to describe sexual intimacy between a man and a woman. "He 'knew' her."
Marriage between a man and a woman is like the marriage of Christ and the Church. I've known this for some time, but only recently has it sunk in. It suddenly occurred to me that one of the many reasons sexual immorality is so prevalent in the world is because we have a deep longing for intimacy with God. But we aren't longing for just a little intimacy like sharing secrets or a kiss--to put it in human terms of love. We long for something deep and profound. It might be called spiritual sex. A strange thought, I know.
I once heard someone say that God allows us to choose whether or not we want to be with Him for eternity, and that He is being a gentleman by not making us be with Him when we don't want to be. I think most would agree that anyone who would force someone to marry them and to sleep with them is no gentleman. Yet that is what so many ask of God when they suggest that everyone should be allowed into heaven, even those who violently resisted God all of their lives. If a king lived in the only beautiful place in the world and the rest was a thorny wasteland, and if the one he loved did not love him back, would it be gentlemanly for him to force her to live with him when she wanted to be free? The fact is, forcing her would be no better than rape.
If you like, you can picture Christ as that king, who went out into the barrenness for thirty years to draw her to him. He willingly died by the hand of those who loved the darkness, and even then it didn't guarantee that she would come to him. He proposed; now he must wait for her answer--an answer that could take her entire lifetime. I don't know about you, but our story is the best love story ever written. Thank you, Jesus, lover of our souls.
In today's sermon our pastor talked about what it means to know God. John 17:3 says: "Now this is eternal life: that they may know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent." The Bible uses the same word "know" to describe sexual intimacy between a man and a woman. "He 'knew' her."
Marriage between a man and a woman is like the marriage of Christ and the Church. I've known this for some time, but only recently has it sunk in. It suddenly occurred to me that one of the many reasons sexual immorality is so prevalent in the world is because we have a deep longing for intimacy with God. But we aren't longing for just a little intimacy like sharing secrets or a kiss--to put it in human terms of love. We long for something deep and profound. It might be called spiritual sex. A strange thought, I know.
I once heard someone say that God allows us to choose whether or not we want to be with Him for eternity, and that He is being a gentleman by not making us be with Him when we don't want to be. I think most would agree that anyone who would force someone to marry them and to sleep with them is no gentleman. Yet that is what so many ask of God when they suggest that everyone should be allowed into heaven, even those who violently resisted God all of their lives. If a king lived in the only beautiful place in the world and the rest was a thorny wasteland, and if the one he loved did not love him back, would it be gentlemanly for him to force her to live with him when she wanted to be free? The fact is, forcing her would be no better than rape.
If you like, you can picture Christ as that king, who went out into the barrenness for thirty years to draw her to him. He willingly died by the hand of those who loved the darkness, and even then it didn't guarantee that she would come to him. He proposed; now he must wait for her answer--an answer that could take her entire lifetime. I don't know about you, but our story is the best love story ever written. Thank you, Jesus, lover of our souls.
Thursday, June 14, 2012
Lanturn lights and Dusk
10:43pm
I just spent a very refreshing two hours writing out on my porch. Everything flowed freely and I'm thrilled with the result! I would have finished earlier, seeing as it is getting pretty late, but I didn't know if I would remember what I wanted to put down, and I didn't want to stop halfway through. I was going to settle for the little bit of work on the plot outline that I managed to get done before dinner--(including a new element that almost made me cry just reading the outline)--but I'm glad I went back out for a second round. It feels good to make that much progress in a single day!
I just spent a very refreshing two hours writing out on my porch. Everything flowed freely and I'm thrilled with the result! I would have finished earlier, seeing as it is getting pretty late, but I didn't know if I would remember what I wanted to put down, and I didn't want to stop halfway through. I was going to settle for the little bit of work on the plot outline that I managed to get done before dinner--(including a new element that almost made me cry just reading the outline)--but I'm glad I went back out for a second round. It feels good to make that much progress in a single day!
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
The Rising Sun
9:44am
When I peeked out my window and saw that the sun was shining onto the porch, and felt the breeze coming in, I was moved to go out and spend some time with God. I am reading the book of Psalms and this is from today's chapter:
"The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands. Day after day they pour forth speech; night after night they display knowledge. There is no speech or language where their voice is not heard. Their voice goes out into all the earth, their words to the ends of the world. In the heavens he has pitched a tent for the sun, which is like a bridegroom coming forth from his pavilion, like a champion rejoicing to run his course." Psalm 19:1-5
and then in my devotional:
"And you, my child, will be called a prophet of the Most High; for you will go on before the Lord to prepare the way for him, to give his people the knowledge of salvation through the forgiveness of their sins, because of the tender mercy of our God, by which the rising sun will come to us from heaven to shine on those living in darkness and in the shadow of death, to guide our feet into the path of peace." - Luke 1:76-79
Isn't it amazing when you hear barely a whisper calling you and you obey to be rewarded more than you could have imagined?
In this story I find one of my purposes in life. I asked God last night as I crawled into bed, if this was really what He wanted and if He wanted me to be an artist. If I am to "give his people the knowledge of salvation", this story seems a magnificent way to do it. Rather than diminishing, the desire to see it come into being seems to be stronger every day and every time I ask God what He thinks.
Also, rather early on I thought about having the Second Coming of Christ be like the dawn; like the sun rising on a dark world. It's good to know I'm at least in line with scripture. ;)
My uncle is out mowing the grass just now, so I'm glad I took advantage of the peace and quiet while I could!
When I peeked out my window and saw that the sun was shining onto the porch, and felt the breeze coming in, I was moved to go out and spend some time with God. I am reading the book of Psalms and this is from today's chapter:
"The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands. Day after day they pour forth speech; night after night they display knowledge. There is no speech or language where their voice is not heard. Their voice goes out into all the earth, their words to the ends of the world. In the heavens he has pitched a tent for the sun, which is like a bridegroom coming forth from his pavilion, like a champion rejoicing to run his course." Psalm 19:1-5
and then in my devotional:
"And you, my child, will be called a prophet of the Most High; for you will go on before the Lord to prepare the way for him, to give his people the knowledge of salvation through the forgiveness of their sins, because of the tender mercy of our God, by which the rising sun will come to us from heaven to shine on those living in darkness and in the shadow of death, to guide our feet into the path of peace." - Luke 1:76-79
Isn't it amazing when you hear barely a whisper calling you and you obey to be rewarded more than you could have imagined?
In this story I find one of my purposes in life. I asked God last night as I crawled into bed, if this was really what He wanted and if He wanted me to be an artist. If I am to "give his people the knowledge of salvation", this story seems a magnificent way to do it. Rather than diminishing, the desire to see it come into being seems to be stronger every day and every time I ask God what He thinks.
Also, rather early on I thought about having the Second Coming of Christ be like the dawn; like the sun rising on a dark world. It's good to know I'm at least in line with scripture. ;)
My uncle is out mowing the grass just now, so I'm glad I took advantage of the peace and quiet while I could!
Monday, June 4, 2012
Structural Overhaul
5:23pm
This afternoon I came to the conclusion that the first and the second books should be split into two books each. That's four books. (When I say "books", I'm not talking about novel-sized 300-pagers. I have no idea how long these stories will actually be. I figure they should be long enough to allow good character development, but short enough to get to the point. I'm a very get-to-the-point kind of writer ;)) I rejected that idea for a long time because I couldn't imagine writing an entire story about Georgia. It is so difficult to gather information about a country I have never been to that is not very well known. Plus it takes place during a time of war in a tiny village. Any of those factors will make a story challenging, but all four of them make it extremely daunting. Fortunately, I've come across quite a few Peace Corps volunteers' blogs and videos that show what it is like through the eyes of an American. Those resources have been absolutely invaluable. I'm not sure if a lot more information has become available about Georgia since 2010 or if I've just gotten better at googling. Maybe both.
This afternoon I came to the conclusion that the first and the second books should be split into two books each. That's four books. (When I say "books", I'm not talking about novel-sized 300-pagers. I have no idea how long these stories will actually be. I figure they should be long enough to allow good character development, but short enough to get to the point. I'm a very get-to-the-point kind of writer ;)) I rejected that idea for a long time because I couldn't imagine writing an entire story about Georgia. It is so difficult to gather information about a country I have never been to that is not very well known. Plus it takes place during a time of war in a tiny village. Any of those factors will make a story challenging, but all four of them make it extremely daunting. Fortunately, I've come across quite a few Peace Corps volunteers' blogs and videos that show what it is like through the eyes of an American. Those resources have been absolutely invaluable. I'm not sure if a lot more information has become available about Georgia since 2010 or if I've just gotten better at googling. Maybe both.
Thursday, May 31, 2012
Georgian wine and supra
I managed to write 2 + 1/2 pages tonight on the topic of Georgia, specifically a supra, which was fun, but somewhat hard to explain. Thank God for Youtube!!
I found a very interesting video today showing how Georgians make wine and that many Georgians have their own grapevines and Kvevri, or underground clay jars, which they use to make their own wine. I'm curious about the taste of Georgian wine. I don't really care for wine bought in America, probably because it's cheap and also because it's probably crap compared to the supposed "really good stuff" in other countries. The fact that Georgian wine can be an amber color has me intrigued. Look for that in my story. ; )
I found a very interesting video today showing how Georgians make wine and that many Georgians have their own grapevines and Kvevri, or underground clay jars, which they use to make their own wine. I'm curious about the taste of Georgian wine. I don't really care for wine bought in America, probably because it's cheap and also because it's probably crap compared to the supposed "really good stuff" in other countries. The fact that Georgian wine can be an amber color has me intrigued. Look for that in my story. ; )
Sunday, May 6, 2012
Drawing From Reality
Sometimes expressing myself is frustrating. Nothing seems adequate for capturing the images that live inside me. It's like a drawing of a landscape: it isn't close enough to the actual landscape to really do it justice. As my skills improve, the drawing becomes more and more accurate, but it will still never reach a full likeness. C.S. Lewis said: "How far
the life of the risen man will be sensory, we do not know. But I
surmise that it will differ from the sensory life we know here, not as
emptiness differs from water or water from wine but as a flower differs from a bulb or a cathedral from an architect's drawing." I get discouraged because I want to show the cathedral and I'm forced to be satisfied with an architect's drawing. I guess that is just the reality we live in, though I'm still pretty young. Maybe someday I will be able to use film and music to express myself. But no matter the medium, the point is we can never really achieve the one thing that all artists strive for: for that picture to come alive outside of ourselves in exactly the way that we intended. In this world it can't be done.
Here's more C.S. Lewis =)
"For though we shall be 'as the angels' and made 'like unto' our Master, I think this means 'like with the likeness proper to men': as different instruments that play the same air but each in its own fashion. How far the life of the risen man will be sensory, we do not know. But I surmise that it will differ from the sensory life we know here, not as emptiness differs from water or water from wine but as a flower differs from a bulb or a cathedral from an architect's drawing."
"Let us picture a woman thrown into a dungeon. There she bears and rears a son. He grows up seeing nothing but the dungeon...This unfortunate woman was an artist...With her pencil she attempts to show him what fields, rivers, mountains, cities and waves on a beach are like. He is a dutiful boy and he does his best to believe her when she tells him that that outer world is far more interesting and glorious than anything in the dungeon...one day, he says something that gives his mother pause. Finally it dawns on her that he has, all these years, lived under a misconception. 'But,' she gasps, 'You didn't think the real world was full of lines drawn in lead pencil?' 'What?' says the boy. 'No pencil marks there?' And instantly his whole notion of the outer world becomes a blank. For the lines, by which alone he has imagined it, have now been denied of it. He has no idea of that which will exclude and dispense with the lines, that of which the lines were merely a transposition -- ...the coloured three-dimensional realities which are not enclosed in lines but define their own shapes [in a way] no drawing could ever achieve. The child will get the idea that the real world is somehow less visible than his mother's pictures. In reality it lacks lines because it is incomparably more visible.
So with us. ... Our natural experiences...are only like the drawing....if they vanish in the risen life, they will vanish only as pencil lines vanish from the real landscape; not as a candle flame that is put out but as a candle flame which becomes invisible because someone has pulled up the blind, thrown open the shutters, and let in the blaze of the risen sun." -- C.S. Lewis
Here's more C.S. Lewis =)
"For though we shall be 'as the angels' and made 'like unto' our Master, I think this means 'like with the likeness proper to men': as different instruments that play the same air but each in its own fashion. How far the life of the risen man will be sensory, we do not know. But I surmise that it will differ from the sensory life we know here, not as emptiness differs from water or water from wine but as a flower differs from a bulb or a cathedral from an architect's drawing."
"Let us picture a woman thrown into a dungeon. There she bears and rears a son. He grows up seeing nothing but the dungeon...This unfortunate woman was an artist...With her pencil she attempts to show him what fields, rivers, mountains, cities and waves on a beach are like. He is a dutiful boy and he does his best to believe her when she tells him that that outer world is far more interesting and glorious than anything in the dungeon...one day, he says something that gives his mother pause. Finally it dawns on her that he has, all these years, lived under a misconception. 'But,' she gasps, 'You didn't think the real world was full of lines drawn in lead pencil?' 'What?' says the boy. 'No pencil marks there?' And instantly his whole notion of the outer world becomes a blank. For the lines, by which alone he has imagined it, have now been denied of it. He has no idea of that which will exclude and dispense with the lines, that of which the lines were merely a transposition -- ...the coloured three-dimensional realities which are not enclosed in lines but define their own shapes [in a way] no drawing could ever achieve. The child will get the idea that the real world is somehow less visible than his mother's pictures. In reality it lacks lines because it is incomparably more visible.
So with us. ... Our natural experiences...are only like the drawing....if they vanish in the risen life, they will vanish only as pencil lines vanish from the real landscape; not as a candle flame that is put out but as a candle flame which becomes invisible because someone has pulled up the blind, thrown open the shutters, and let in the blaze of the risen sun." -- C.S. Lewis
Saturday, March 10, 2012
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
A Thousand Years
I have two things to tell today. The first is that I've been reading this book about Astronaut Rick Husband who died on the Columbia when it was returning to earth. In the book it said that he decided to let God lead his life and he would only pursue being an astronaut if it was what God wanted. Well I got to thinking about my life, and how the world tells me I have to be this and that and do this and that to be accepted, even loved. I was really struggling with doubts that this story was really what God wanted me to focus on right now. For days, maybe weeks, I've been asking Him to show me where He wants me to go and everything comes back to the story or my songwriting. It's hard for even me to believe it, but this must be what He wants. It's so easy to say that God wouldn't want someone to sit at home writing a story that will never be published officially. It seems so contradictory to all the voices around me that yell "Get a job!" or "Go to school!", usually both. Then I read the devotion for today from "Jesus Calling": "Stop judging and evaluating yourself, for this is not your role. Above all, stop comparing yourself with other people. This produces feelings of pride or inferiority; sometimes, a mixture of both. I lead each of My children along a path that is uniquely tailor-made for him or her. Comparing is not only wrong; it is also meaningless. Don't look for affirmation in the wrong places: your own evaluations, or those of other people. The only source of real affirmation is My unconditional Love..." I guess the point that I am making is that God knows better than anyone what He can do with my life and many times where He leads is the exact opposite of where everyone else wants you to go. That is part of the challenge of following Him. We already know He thinks opposite to us, so why is it so shocking that He is leading me in the opposite direction from where everyone else is telling me to go?
The second thing I want to share is how God is secretly writing this story. I am the conduit through which His beauty can flow. On the way home from our church's Ash Wednesday service I heard this song on the radio called "A Thousand Years". It made me think of Jesus and how He loved us long before we existed. It's been in my heart ever since then and just this morning I sat back with a cup of tea and listened to it. I had just prayed that God would impart His words into my story because I knew He could write something much more beautiful than I could. As I listened to the song a scene for the story came into my mind that was so beautiful and perfect and I wished that I was a filmmaker so I could share this visually with everyone. I won't go into detail, but let's just say I believe He answered my prayer. =)
The second thing I want to share is how God is secretly writing this story. I am the conduit through which His beauty can flow. On the way home from our church's Ash Wednesday service I heard this song on the radio called "A Thousand Years". It made me think of Jesus and how He loved us long before we existed. It's been in my heart ever since then and just this morning I sat back with a cup of tea and listened to it. I had just prayed that God would impart His words into my story because I knew He could write something much more beautiful than I could. As I listened to the song a scene for the story came into my mind that was so beautiful and perfect and I wished that I was a filmmaker so I could share this visually with everyone. I won't go into detail, but let's just say I believe He answered my prayer. =)
Monday, January 30, 2012
Majoris Panis en de Arsus
This was such a great idea I had, but now it requires me to actually know stuff about stuff. Um...that may be a problem. Fortunately, we live in the Age of Information! With Wikipedia at hand and anything I want to know accessible via Google, I shouldn't have a problem putting this into motion. I just have to do the mental grunt work.
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Um
Yesterday I had a great idea for how to improve my story goal. It doesn't really change it, it just makes it a bit more specific and should help me to write a more engaging plot. Yay!
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Summary
I found a guide to help me form a plot outline and make a summary so things are definitely looking up now! I still have tons of brainstorming to do, but one thing at a time. I had a great idea for how to choose a character name for Part 2 in the middle of the night last night so I'm excited about that. By the way, what is it with Part 2 butting in all the time?!
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Understanding God
Over the last four days I've been taking tons of notes on all the aspects of forming a plot and here's what I have figured out so far.
Down One Main Character
I was going to have two main characters, a boy and a girl. I wanted to tell both their stories equally so readers of both genders would be able to identify with it. However, as I started looking into it, I realized that may not be possible. A lot of the scenes are depicted with Marie alone. She's typically the one being followed because her life is in some parts derived from mine. Alex lives in Georgia and is only interacted with through letters. So it's not possible for me to make their "screen time" even. I am also considering calling the book "Marie", as least as a working title, and I clearly can't just leave out the other main character from the title. That brings up the issue of titles.
Choosing a Title
Because I'm already planning to do a series, I need to have titles that go with each other. Naming the book "Marie" would work well if, say, the second book was titled "Sarah" and the third "Alex", but that is far from the direction I want to go. I have never been good at choosing titles, so this may prove difficult.
Developing the Plot
My biggest issue so far has been the plot. The articles I've found have been unbelievably helpful, yet I can't seem to get past setting a goal for the protagonist. This is because a Christian lives life differently from most people. There are several goals that a Christian has that are not tangible, but spiritual. These are:
In some ways I can relax and just go by whatever a Christian is supposed to do. I live it, or try to, so that shouldn't be too hard. Or is it? You see I have to determine what God would choose for Marie and I am a far cry from God! Here is my greatest challenge and I haven't even gotten to the book describing heaven or the new earth. #Headache
My Plan
I'm going to look up some testimonials and read stories in the Bible and try to get a sense of how God works in people's lives. He's still such a mystery to me, but I know there is a method to His ma--um...majesty? ;-)
Down One Main Character
I was going to have two main characters, a boy and a girl. I wanted to tell both their stories equally so readers of both genders would be able to identify with it. However, as I started looking into it, I realized that may not be possible. A lot of the scenes are depicted with Marie alone. She's typically the one being followed because her life is in some parts derived from mine. Alex lives in Georgia and is only interacted with through letters. So it's not possible for me to make their "screen time" even. I am also considering calling the book "Marie", as least as a working title, and I clearly can't just leave out the other main character from the title. That brings up the issue of titles.
Choosing a Title
Because I'm already planning to do a series, I need to have titles that go with each other. Naming the book "Marie" would work well if, say, the second book was titled "Sarah" and the third "Alex", but that is far from the direction I want to go. I have never been good at choosing titles, so this may prove difficult.
Developing the Plot
My biggest issue so far has been the plot. The articles I've found have been unbelievably helpful, yet I can't seem to get past setting a goal for the protagonist. This is because a Christian lives life differently from most people. There are several goals that a Christian has that are not tangible, but spiritual. These are:
- Surrender to God's will
- Sharing the Good News
- Shrugging off sin
In some ways I can relax and just go by whatever a Christian is supposed to do. I live it, or try to, so that shouldn't be too hard. Or is it? You see I have to determine what God would choose for Marie and I am a far cry from God! Here is my greatest challenge and I haven't even gotten to the book describing heaven or the new earth. #Headache
My Plan
I'm going to look up some testimonials and read stories in the Bible and try to get a sense of how God works in people's lives. He's still such a mystery to me, but I know there is a method to His ma--um...majesty? ;-)
Friday, January 13, 2012
Stop the Presses!
I'm going to suspend the actual writing of my story until I can figure out exactly where I want to go with this. The plot needs to be much, much better--as in I actually need to have one. I know where I want the characters to end up, but it's something that happens to them, not something they can chase after. So I have to give them some sort of mission, something that compels them to action, to give the book a reason for being told. Otherwise it's just a series of daily events that have no real significance. I have a lot of thinking to do.
I'm starting with this website called Daily Writing Tips that has a lot of great information and resources to help writers understand what makes a book worth reading. We know when we love a book, but why? What are the mechanics of a good story?
Things to think about.
I'm starting with this website called Daily Writing Tips that has a lot of great information and resources to help writers understand what makes a book worth reading. We know when we love a book, but why? What are the mechanics of a good story?
Things to think about.
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Epicness Needed
Edit: 1/13/2012 - Okay so what I want to say sounds really silly after watching this cinematic this morning. I woke up thinking about that scene in the game that made me cry so much and I cried again, which is weird for me. I just thought, "I don't understand why this hurts me so much" and struggled to go back to sleep. Then I woke up again at six o'clock and suddenly, just in my heart I heard, "She doesn't have a father." and everything became clear. All my life I've looked up to men who are sometimes significantly older than me and I've always known this burden was the cause. It's not like I don't have men in my life who I can look up to. I just don't have any that I'm close to. This must be why I have a heart for the leader of the Assassins. I've heard a lot of people say that there is something about a father that nothing can replace. So I cried out to Jesus like I rarely have before and clung to my Heavenly Father and hoped He would satisfy what a game could not.
But come on, I love this game, so...
I thought I'd better post one of the first cutscenes of it. I love watching this =D Still can't figure out if it is real or animation. When he puts his hood up it looks a bit 3D animated. I don't know, they've always been good with cinematics. Which is why their movie should be sweet! I don't know why people are afraid the movie will be a flop--have you seen the cinematics and trailers of the games, people?! If the movie is anything like them it should be amazing. Especially since Ubisoft wants a lot of control, while most companies have to give over so much control to the studio. I do hope they do the storyline of the games and not some random stuff like the short films they've already made.
Here is what Ezio says at the end of Revelations that I find very beautiful and I don't think it spoils anything:
"I have seen enough for one life...Desmond? [that's his descendant]. I heard your name once before, Desmond. A long time ago. And now it lingers in my mind like an image from an old dream. I do not know where you are or by what means you can hear me. But I know you are listening. I have lived my life as best I could, not knowing its purpose, but drawn forward like a moth to a distant moon. And here at last I discover a strange truth: that I am only a conduit for a message that eludes my understanding. Who are we, who have been so blessed, to share our stories like this, to speak across centuries? Maybe you will answer all the questions I have asked. Maybe you will be the one to make all this suffering worth something in the end. Now, listen..."
earlier on 1/12/2012:
I finally watched all the cutscenes for Assassin's Creed: Revelations. I cried at the end. =( When I went back later today to watch one of the last scenes, it made me cry again. I can't figure out exactly what has impacted me so much about these games. I haven't even played them. I've just been watching the cutscenes for each game for the last few days, which can be as long as a few hours each game.
I think I like it so much because there are elements that everyone can agree on. Granted, it is definitely a tad anti-Christian in that it claims the Apple of Eden didn't open man's eyes, it simply created illusions. Hearing my favorite character say that the Bible is just stories does hurt, but you know sometimes people don't agree with you.
It does have elements of what make stories great, though. The characters have a sense of destiny, and they live with such purpose that is truly inspiring. Their entire lives are completely committed to being assassins, even to the point of cutting off their ring fingers so they can never be married.
The characters' stories also have significance to future generations. Everyone wants their life to mean something in the grand scheme of things, and to leave a lasting legacy beyond just our generation. These two things have been instilled in all of us by God. Furthermore, we all want to know how our ancestors' lives have impacted us and how we are like them. So there are many reasons why the games strike a chord with so many people. Maybe they just like dropping off a roof to assassinate someone.
Okay, so why am I posting this on my story blog? Well, you see, I haven't really been able to write because I simply cannot think about anything else but Assassin's Creed. I can't even write about my story on my blog specifically for my story because AC is so in my head. I think the immersion has stretched outside of the game now that my two new favorite songs make me think of AC and with my TV on the verge of breaking, I've been on Youtube a lot. I could read that book in the corner that I stopped reading before Christmas, but...meh. What I would like to read is one of the AC books. That would be sweet.
Ahem...
Oh yeah. I was going to say that I wish my story had this kind of impact on people. I mean, when I think about it, the deaths that are supposed to have the greatest impact simply don't. Everything people do in this story is so ridiculously ordinary and unexciting, probably because my life is so ordinary and unexciting. I thought that was what I wanted, but now I'm not so sure. I need to figure out how to write modern day stuff as epically as I can write the end of the world and even then my writing isn't that extraordinary. *Sigh* I'm inspired, I tell you! I just don't know what to do about it because I feel so incredibly inept.
Basically, I just need people's lives to string together somehow. I need those moments where you go "Oh my gosh, that's that person from Chapter 1!". You know, those things that kind of come full circle in the story. I do have a few things like that, but as I said, they are so bland. -_-
So now I have multiple layers of writer's block and am extremely sensitive emotionally. Great. Just what you need during the winter when there is nothing else to do.
I couldn't find the exact thing I heard at the part that made me cry like a baby so I'm thinking it must be a special edited version. -_- this is probably the closest thing to it, with the violins and all. See it was like this, but with piano or light strings and then at 0:57 the strings get louder and it's just sooo sad!! 0:40-1:12 is where that is by the way.
But come on, I love this game, so...
I thought I'd better post one of the first cutscenes of it. I love watching this =D Still can't figure out if it is real or animation. When he puts his hood up it looks a bit 3D animated. I don't know, they've always been good with cinematics. Which is why their movie should be sweet! I don't know why people are afraid the movie will be a flop--have you seen the cinematics and trailers of the games, people?! If the movie is anything like them it should be amazing. Especially since Ubisoft wants a lot of control, while most companies have to give over so much control to the studio. I do hope they do the storyline of the games and not some random stuff like the short films they've already made.
Here is what Ezio says at the end of Revelations that I find very beautiful and I don't think it spoils anything:
"I have seen enough for one life...Desmond? [that's his descendant]. I heard your name once before, Desmond. A long time ago. And now it lingers in my mind like an image from an old dream. I do not know where you are or by what means you can hear me. But I know you are listening. I have lived my life as best I could, not knowing its purpose, but drawn forward like a moth to a distant moon. And here at last I discover a strange truth: that I am only a conduit for a message that eludes my understanding. Who are we, who have been so blessed, to share our stories like this, to speak across centuries? Maybe you will answer all the questions I have asked. Maybe you will be the one to make all this suffering worth something in the end. Now, listen..."
earlier on 1/12/2012:
I finally watched all the cutscenes for Assassin's Creed: Revelations. I cried at the end. =( When I went back later today to watch one of the last scenes, it made me cry again. I can't figure out exactly what has impacted me so much about these games. I haven't even played them. I've just been watching the cutscenes for each game for the last few days, which can be as long as a few hours each game.
I think I like it so much because there are elements that everyone can agree on. Granted, it is definitely a tad anti-Christian in that it claims the Apple of Eden didn't open man's eyes, it simply created illusions. Hearing my favorite character say that the Bible is just stories does hurt, but you know sometimes people don't agree with you.
It does have elements of what make stories great, though. The characters have a sense of destiny, and they live with such purpose that is truly inspiring. Their entire lives are completely committed to being assassins, even to the point of cutting off their ring fingers so they can never be married.
The characters' stories also have significance to future generations. Everyone wants their life to mean something in the grand scheme of things, and to leave a lasting legacy beyond just our generation. These two things have been instilled in all of us by God. Furthermore, we all want to know how our ancestors' lives have impacted us and how we are like them. So there are many reasons why the games strike a chord with so many people. Maybe they just like dropping off a roof to assassinate someone.
Okay, so why am I posting this on my story blog? Well, you see, I haven't really been able to write because I simply cannot think about anything else but Assassin's Creed. I can't even write about my story on my blog specifically for my story because AC is so in my head. I think the immersion has stretched outside of the game now that my two new favorite songs make me think of AC and with my TV on the verge of breaking, I've been on Youtube a lot. I could read that book in the corner that I stopped reading before Christmas, but...meh. What I would like to read is one of the AC books. That would be sweet.
Ahem...
Oh yeah. I was going to say that I wish my story had this kind of impact on people. I mean, when I think about it, the deaths that are supposed to have the greatest impact simply don't. Everything people do in this story is so ridiculously ordinary and unexciting, probably because my life is so ordinary and unexciting. I thought that was what I wanted, but now I'm not so sure. I need to figure out how to write modern day stuff as epically as I can write the end of the world and even then my writing isn't that extraordinary. *Sigh* I'm inspired, I tell you! I just don't know what to do about it because I feel so incredibly inept.
Basically, I just need people's lives to string together somehow. I need those moments where you go "Oh my gosh, that's that person from Chapter 1!". You know, those things that kind of come full circle in the story. I do have a few things like that, but as I said, they are so bland. -_-
So now I have multiple layers of writer's block and am extremely sensitive emotionally. Great. Just what you need during the winter when there is nothing else to do.
I couldn't find the exact thing I heard at the part that made me cry like a baby so I'm thinking it must be a special edited version. -_- this is probably the closest thing to it, with the violins and all. See it was like this, but with piano or light strings and then at 0:57 the strings get louder and it's just sooo sad!! 0:40-1:12 is where that is by the way.
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Another day, another song
...another page, another tear. Writing your savior's death in gory detail and the emotional pain it causes is really a dark place to be mentally.
Since I've lately become extremely interested in Assassin's Creed, I listened to this song while writing. It's the one from the opening intro of Ezio in Masyaf and gives me just the right atmosphere.
I've been watching a playthrough of Assassin's Creed: Revelations, so I haven't gotten to the end. I just know something really sad is coming because people have been talking about it. What does this have to do with my story? Well I decided a few days ago to base Jesus on Altaїr's character--the strength and authoritativeness--(how many scrabble points is that?!) not the killing he does, obviously. So I don't know. For some reason, his character has really gripped me and I'm not sure how I'm going to take the ending emotionally. Silly, right? It's a video game character for pity's sake! If only they didn't look so stinkin' realistic in the cinematic of the game. You know how sometimes you wish a storybook character was real, like Mr. Darcy or Gilbert Blythe? They have actors who personify them, but you know it's just pretend and you can let it go. In this case, the cinematic was so incredibly lifelike that it was like looking at it all in reality. If only I had the ability to do that with my story.
Anyway, I've been writing for about two and a half hours so I had to take a break and get my thoughts out while they were fresh. I'm pretty exhausted mentally, so no more writing today.
Since I've lately become extremely interested in Assassin's Creed, I listened to this song while writing. It's the one from the opening intro of Ezio in Masyaf and gives me just the right atmosphere.
I've been watching a playthrough of Assassin's Creed: Revelations, so I haven't gotten to the end. I just know something really sad is coming because people have been talking about it. What does this have to do with my story? Well I decided a few days ago to base Jesus on Altaїr's character--the strength and authoritativeness--(how many scrabble points is that?!) not the killing he does, obviously. So I don't know. For some reason, his character has really gripped me and I'm not sure how I'm going to take the ending emotionally. Silly, right? It's a video game character for pity's sake! If only they didn't look so stinkin' realistic in the cinematic of the game. You know how sometimes you wish a storybook character was real, like Mr. Darcy or Gilbert Blythe? They have actors who personify them, but you know it's just pretend and you can let it go. In this case, the cinematic was so incredibly lifelike that it was like looking at it all in reality. If only I had the ability to do that with my story.
Anyway, I've been writing for about two and a half hours so I had to take a break and get my thoughts out while they were fresh. I'm pretty exhausted mentally, so no more writing today.
Saturday, January 7, 2012
Merchant Prince - Updated Entry
Edit: I decided to add a bit of the text I wrote today, Tuesday, to add to this post, which was originally done on Saturday. Yes, this is the climax of the 2nd part (which may be the 3rd, depending on how I have to cut it.) but this is something I just can't keep locked away.
--
Before taking time to write today, I came across a fan video for the game Assassin's Creed. The music they used is by an instrumental band I'm already familiar with called Two Steps from Hell. They do music for movies and trailers. I hadn't heard this particular track before (Merchant Prince) and I haven't stopped listening to it since. If it's not on my mp3 player, it's stuck in my head. I hear it before I go to bed and I hear it when I wake up. Then I choose to turn on the song and listen to it some more. =D
That first day I heard it, I went out on my porch to write, knowing this song was probably going to impede my progress. I decided maybe I could use it to help me write Part 2, the part that deals with the end of the world. Nothing was coming to mind except what was in the video I had watched, so I just sat and watched the sunset and just let myself dream for a bit.
Like discovered treasure, all these images started coming and I couldn't even write them down fast enough. The beginning of the song made me think of the losses that are going to come in the end, but then when the music became this really bittersweet melody I pictured Christ returning and the final fight with Satan.
I can't even put into words how this song makes me feel. It makes me so incredibly happy, but then it's like it comes around full circle into sadness. When I began picturing Christ's return and all that encompasses it in the story, it was like unlocking something precious and I cried. I actually cried over an epic piece of trailer music. I've cried more than once over this little beauty. That's how you can tell that something has really touched me.
So you want to hear it? Part of what I wrote is below it (as much as you can read without spoilers). If it seems choppy, that's because I'm skipping parts you can't read yet. ;-)) I have also put markers where certain parts of the story coincide with the music. It does take longer to read than it does for the song to get to the next part, so you may need to play the song again. Also something you should know...my Jesus character is a little Altair-ish (the main guy in the video at the bottom). Yeah, didn't get influenced too much ;-) *sarcasm*. Not the killing, just the general authority and presence and youthfulness that he brings. He was only 33, you remember.
0:00 -- Marie saw before her the crumbling ruins of the city she once knew and thought of those she had known who were buried under it...Her heart was heavy. She allowed her knees to sink to the ground and watched the chaos around her. This wasn't how she thought it would be. Heaven was so beautiful and peaceful. She thought the peace would follow her to earth and she could share it with those who were suffering. Instead she began to suffer with them and could only provide what little wisdom she had acquired out of all there was to know and understand. None of this made sense. There were angels to guard and the Holy Spirit to guide. Why were they even there?
She felt a strange trembling beneath her. Something was happening...
1:00 -- There was a light in the sky, moving fast like a comet, brighter than anything she had ever seen, even in heaven. It seemed to encompass the entire sky, lighting the world just like the dawn. The clouds put on their best clothes and the mountains literally bowed!
His valiant white horse rode with power beneath Him, dressed in deep purple and silver, a mane like fire. The King was pure beauty itself, comparable to nothing that had ever been or ever would be. We were made for Him. Everything we've ever loved was our hearts crying out for His Presence, and at last He had come.
1:12 -- Her face was to the dirt in reverence, beaming in pride. When she looked up, He had come around to her, a broad smile on His face. Her heart leapt within her, tears of joy streaming down her cheeks. 1:19 -- This was the One she loved; her friend, her brother, her husband. He had died for her, fought before The Almighty on her behalf, and worked all of her life to bring her to this moment. She had lived in His Holy City for ten years...and she was reduced to tears of rapture. How much more wonderful for those who were seeing for the first time!
1:30 -- He dismounted swiftly and pulled her up off the ground. His arms hung at His sides, the stance of a King. She waited, knowing something was going to happen. He simply closed His eyes. 1:35 -- An enormous power began to flow through Him, His mouth opened slightly and His forehead creased. In a few instants, the area was filled with people, their clothes like those Marie remembered wearing in heaven. He had raised them to immortality. His love had conquered after all. Now there was just one more thing to do...
1:41 -- The remainder of the song is dedicated to Jesus and Satan's final battle, if you can call it a battle. It's more like a one-sided butt whooping. ;)
Rough, to say the least, but that's basically how I roll. I just let the words flow and I'll worry about arranging them better later.
The Assassin's Creed fan video that features the song. Don't ask me why it's showing Altair's backside from one of the fight scenes. o.o I don't think you get a choice about what the thumbnail shows when you upload something onto Youtube.
--
Before taking time to write today, I came across a fan video for the game Assassin's Creed. The music they used is by an instrumental band I'm already familiar with called Two Steps from Hell. They do music for movies and trailers. I hadn't heard this particular track before (Merchant Prince) and I haven't stopped listening to it since. If it's not on my mp3 player, it's stuck in my head. I hear it before I go to bed and I hear it when I wake up. Then I choose to turn on the song and listen to it some more. =D
That first day I heard it, I went out on my porch to write, knowing this song was probably going to impede my progress. I decided maybe I could use it to help me write Part 2, the part that deals with the end of the world. Nothing was coming to mind except what was in the video I had watched, so I just sat and watched the sunset and just let myself dream for a bit.
Like discovered treasure, all these images started coming and I couldn't even write them down fast enough. The beginning of the song made me think of the losses that are going to come in the end, but then when the music became this really bittersweet melody I pictured Christ returning and the final fight with Satan.
I can't even put into words how this song makes me feel. It makes me so incredibly happy, but then it's like it comes around full circle into sadness. When I began picturing Christ's return and all that encompasses it in the story, it was like unlocking something precious and I cried. I actually cried over an epic piece of trailer music. I've cried more than once over this little beauty. That's how you can tell that something has really touched me.
So you want to hear it? Part of what I wrote is below it (as much as you can read without spoilers). If it seems choppy, that's because I'm skipping parts you can't read yet. ;-)) I have also put markers where certain parts of the story coincide with the music. It does take longer to read than it does for the song to get to the next part, so you may need to play the song again. Also something you should know...my Jesus character is a little Altair-ish (the main guy in the video at the bottom). Yeah, didn't get influenced too much ;-) *sarcasm*. Not the killing, just the general authority and presence and youthfulness that he brings. He was only 33, you remember.
0:00 -- Marie saw before her the crumbling ruins of the city she once knew and thought of those she had known who were buried under it...Her heart was heavy. She allowed her knees to sink to the ground and watched the chaos around her. This wasn't how she thought it would be. Heaven was so beautiful and peaceful. She thought the peace would follow her to earth and she could share it with those who were suffering. Instead she began to suffer with them and could only provide what little wisdom she had acquired out of all there was to know and understand. None of this made sense. There were angels to guard and the Holy Spirit to guide. Why were they even there?
She felt a strange trembling beneath her. Something was happening...
1:00 -- There was a light in the sky, moving fast like a comet, brighter than anything she had ever seen, even in heaven. It seemed to encompass the entire sky, lighting the world just like the dawn. The clouds put on their best clothes and the mountains literally bowed!
His valiant white horse rode with power beneath Him, dressed in deep purple and silver, a mane like fire. The King was pure beauty itself, comparable to nothing that had ever been or ever would be. We were made for Him. Everything we've ever loved was our hearts crying out for His Presence, and at last He had come.
1:12 -- Her face was to the dirt in reverence, beaming in pride. When she looked up, He had come around to her, a broad smile on His face. Her heart leapt within her, tears of joy streaming down her cheeks. 1:19 -- This was the One she loved; her friend, her brother, her husband. He had died for her, fought before The Almighty on her behalf, and worked all of her life to bring her to this moment. She had lived in His Holy City for ten years...and she was reduced to tears of rapture. How much more wonderful for those who were seeing for the first time!
1:30 -- He dismounted swiftly and pulled her up off the ground. His arms hung at His sides, the stance of a King. She waited, knowing something was going to happen. He simply closed His eyes. 1:35 -- An enormous power began to flow through Him, His mouth opened slightly and His forehead creased. In a few instants, the area was filled with people, their clothes like those Marie remembered wearing in heaven. He had raised them to immortality. His love had conquered after all. Now there was just one more thing to do...
1:41 -- The remainder of the song is dedicated to Jesus and Satan's final battle, if you can call it a battle. It's more like a one-sided butt whooping. ;)
Rough, to say the least, but that's basically how I roll. I just let the words flow and I'll worry about arranging them better later.
The Assassin's Creed fan video that features the song. Don't ask me why it's showing Altair's backside from one of the fight scenes. o.o I don't think you get a choice about what the thumbnail shows when you upload something onto Youtube.
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